Friday, January 1, 2010

laying the old to rest; embracing the new

Time is a human construct. It does not really exist. All that exists is this moment, and it's gone as soon as we recognize it. Nonetheless, the end of one year and start of another offers a good opportunity to sit down and reflect on our lives, to see where we have been and where we want to go next. I use a journal as a tool. It helps me focus and express in words what I am thinking. I am often surprised at what comes. But not this time. When I sat down with my journal this week I was not surprised to see words of gratitude cascading down the page as I looked back on 2009. I won't bore you with the particulars but photography was at the heart of it all.

What happened to me as a photographer in 2009 fills me with wonder. And it was more than what happened to me from the outside; it was what happened on the inside. I have finally claimed my identity as a photographer. I am no longer just someone with a digital camera who takes pictures. I now am the camera.

Does that sound egotisical? I hope not. I don't mean it that way. It's just that it no longer matters whether or not my camera is in my hands; I still see the world through its lens. Every moment is a frame. Every feeling translates into an image. Not that anyone else can see it. That doesn't matter. I see it. I am it.

So I enter 2010 as a photographer. I have no idea how that will manifest itself in what work I do, how that work is shared, what challenges and joys I will encounter. What I do know is that I am who and where I want and need to be. If I stay true to that, the rest will take care of itself.

Happy New Year to you...


Anonymous db said...

hi pat
and happy new year to you..
she did pass - just a little after midnight on nye and in her sleep.. she was awfully frightened of pain and so it was a relief, if a small one..

January 3, 2010 at 8:25 PM  
Anonymous db said...

still unable to email you - bounces back.. reply below..

remarkable is right - the doctors really didn=B4t know how she went on for =
so long.. she was ill, on oxygen.. homebound.. and sharp as a pin.. :=F8)

how was your season my dear? i have not been on burn - did you fall or have=
some trouble?

January 4, 2010 at 2:58 AM  
Blogger Bjarte Edvardsen said...

Good luck with your photography in 2010 Patricia!

Will continue to follow your blog.

January 9, 2010 at 11:28 AM  

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